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It’s time for 10 Weekend Thoughts, presented by GameChanger Patch Co. Specifically, here’s my annual year-end installment of 10 Weekend Thoughts, where I rank the stories that moved the needle on this beat and in my life in 2021.
1. The top story of 2021, of course, was Ole Miss’ football team. In Lane Kiffin’s second season, the Rebels put everything together, going 10-2 overall and 6-2 in the Southeastern Conference, climbing to No. 8 in the Associated Press Top 25 and earning a spot in Saturday’s Allstate Sugar Bowl versus Big 12 champ/No. 7 Baylor.
Ole Miss’ offense was explosive again, but it was the Rebels’ defense that carried the team through much of the second half of the season. Quarterback Matt Corral was brilliant, putting together a Heisman-worthy campaign. His bid for the actual Heisman probably ended in October when he suffered an ankle injury in the waning moments of a win at Tennessee, but the gritty California native never wavered, leading the Rebels to a strong November that culminated with wins over Texas A&M and at Mississippi State.
Sam Williams finally put his immense talents to consistent work, earning All-American status and greatly improving his NFL Draft stock. Maryland transfer Chance Campbell solidified the defense from his linebacker spot, while Mark Robinson, a fellow transfer and former walk-on running back, emerged as an impact player at the position.
Navy transfer Jake Springer solidified the secondary, and after Ole Miss gave up 676 yards in a 52-51 win over Arkansas in early October, the Rebels’ defense figured some things out.
Ole Miss struggled early in a loss at Alabama and wasn’t particularly healthy en route to a loss at Auburn. Otherwise, it was a dream season, one that saw the Rebels win 10 regular season games for the first time in school history.
ESPN’s popular pregame show, “College Gameday,” was hosted in Oxford in mid-November, hours before Ole Miss defeated Texas A&M on the same network that evening. It was picturesque day in north Mississippi, and the Grove was resplendent. In some ways, it unofficially marked the return of relevance for Ole Miss to college football. A program that had endured two NCAA letters of inquiry, a scandalous coach firing and a tangible sense of apathy had splashed back onto the scene.
No matter how things go Saturday night in the Caesars Superdome, 2021 will always be remembered as a special season in Oxford.
2. Of course, two things can be true at once. That possibility gets lost in society these days but it’s absolute real.
On one hand, Kiffin can be a brilliant coach, a man who has proven himself to be an absolute expert at taking different collections of offensive talent and maximizing their results. He’s done it everywhere he’s been, and that certainly applies at Ole Miss, where he built the 2020 offense around Elijah Moore and then pivoted the focus in 2021 to Corral.
However, as Ole Miss won six of its eight SEC games and climbed to the precipice of the College Football Playoffs discussion, the Rebels’ recruiting efforts struggled.
Why? I don’t know. There are a collection of reasons, I suspect, including some topics I’ll address later in this piece. However, it’s crystal clear to me that Kiffin believed his red-hot season in Oxford would make him a wanted commodity on the coaching market. That didn’t happen.
I’m almost reluctant to write some of this, for it triggers an understandable desire to shoot the messenger, but multiple sources have said Kiffin coveted the LSU job. When the Tigers announced in mid-October that Ed Orgeron wouldn’t return in 2022, Kiffin’s name popped up in media circles immediately. Usually, when that happens, it’s because a coach let people know he wanted his name circulated. A source close to Kiffin said Kiffin really wanted the LSU job.
And hey, that’s understandable, right? The last three coaches in Baton Rouge — Nick Saban, Les Miles and Orgeron — won national titles there. It’s a great job — tons of resources, fertile recruiting ground, Tiger Stadium, tradition, rabid fan base, etc. — and it’s sexy. However, LSU athletics director Scott Woodward was “scared” of Kiffin, per sources. Woodward targeted Jimbo Fisher and Lincoln Riley, and when things went sour with Riley, he pivoted to Notre Dame’s Brian Kelly and closed the deal quickly. Kiffin never got a real sniff.
When Florida fired Dan Mullen late in the season, Kiffin’s name never really came up in Gainesville. Florida athletics director Scott Stricklin focused on Louisiana-Lafayette’s Billy Napier from the onset and quickly got his man.
The job that I spent most of the fall of 2021 researching was Miami. When the Hurricanes got off to a slow start, I started hearing buzz about Kiffin to Coral Gables. What became clear from talking to people in and around the Miami program was multifold — Miami had a lot of new money, Miami was laser-focused on Oregon’s Mario Cristobol and Kiffin was campaigning for the job.
Ole Miss people refuse to believe the Miami stuff. I get it. Miami is a shell of what it once was. It plays off-campus, the stadium is basically empty and the ACC is a glorified little step-brother to the SEC. However, Kiffin loves south Florida, loves the lifestyle afforded to people in that area, loves fishing and boating on the ocean and loves the perpetual warm weather.
The question I could never get answered was what would have happened had Cristobol elected to stay in Eugene? Would Miami have swallowed its pride and let Diaz have another year or would it have pivoted to Kiffin? It’s my opinion they would have shifted to Kiffin and it’s my opinion Kiffin would have taken the job.
But we’ll never know, which allows every side of that debate to have some ammunition moving forward.
Kiffin signed an extension in December, one that will pay him some $7.5 million per year over the next four years, not including bonuses that could fairly easily push that compensation over $8 million per season. Ole Miss fans seem to love him, his brand, his social media presence, his offense, his everything.
Moving forward, it’s going to be interesting to see if Kiffin starts to reciprocate that love more openly than he has since arriving in Oxford in December 2019. Ole Miss is trying to raise a ton of money for facilities and NIL is a major driver in the game today. People who dish out the cash usually want a little face time in return, and that’s not Kiffin’s cup of tea.
It’s just my opinion, but I think Kiffin has to prove he can build a program and sustain it if he ever wants to land a job like LSU or Florida. Ole Miss has afforded him that opportunity and offered him serious compensation in the process. That’s the next step for both Kiffin and Ole Miss, a reality that one has to believe he realized this fall.
He'll have his hands full after the Sugar Bowl. Earlier this week, he tabbed South Florida offensive coordinator Charlie Weis Jr., to replace Jeff Lebby as the Rebels' offensive coordinator. It's my expectation Kiffin is going to have to address the other side of the ball next week, as it appears DJ Durkin is a hot commodity and could be plucked away . He must replace his strength and conditioning coach as well, as Wilson Love appears destined for Oregon. RebelGrove.com reported early Friday that former Florida strength and conditioning coach Nick Savage is rumored to have emerged as the leading candidate to replace Love. Regardless, Kiffin is in New Orleans, balancing team and program.
There will likely be other changes as well. That's just part of the college game, especially in this era. Kiffin and Co. simply must make hay in the transfer portal and they've got to get off to a great start on the 2023 recruiting class. Everyone inside the program knows it.
Every year is pivotal, but 2022 feels like its even more that way than any year in recent memory.
3. Ole Miss baseball once again reached the NCAA Super Regional round, but that wasn’t the story that occupied most of June in Oxford.
Instead, it was Mike Bianco’s flirtation with the LSU job that had Ole Miss fans hot and bothered.
In the days leading up to Ole Miss’ appearance in the Super Regional at Arizona, Bianco’s name was linked to the LSU job by Louisiana-based media. Bianco, a former LSU player and assistant coach, was reportedly the choice of former LSU coach Skip Bertman and an assortment of former Tigers players.
In the days following Ole Miss’ elimination in Tucson, Bianco traveled to Birmingham, Ala., where he met with LSU athletics director Scott Woodward. The meeting, which took place at Bianco’s agent’s office, became public knowledge some 24-48 hours later. Ultimately, Bianco took his name out of the running, but not until it was obvious LSU was moving in another direction. The Tigers eventually hired Arizona’s Jay Johnson, but Bianco’s flirtation hurt his standing with Ole Miss fans and likely sets the stage for a bit of an acrimonious situation this spring, unless Ole Miss can return to Omaha and the College World Series for the second time in Bianco’s tenure.
4. Ole Miss’ men’s basketball team likely came one win short of an NCAA Tournament bid in March. Jarkel Joiner put Ole Miss in position to beat LSU in the quarterfinals of the SEC Tournament in Nashville, but in the end, the Rebels’ deficiency — an inability to just get a bucket when they desperately needed a bucket — reared its ugly head in the waning minutes.
Instead, Ole Miss lost to Will Wade’s Tigers, sending the Rebels to the NIT, where they lost to Louisiana Tech in the first round.
That lack of a shooter continues to haunt the Rebels a bit this season. Ole Miss lost four non-league games before its SEC opener against Florida was postponed due to Covid issues inside the Gators' program.
As of Friday, the Rebels’ NET ranking was 132, meaning Ole Miss will have to do serious damage in the SEC to have any real hopes of landing an NCAA Tournament bid.
5. Name, Image and Likeness (NIL) dominated the college sports landscape in 2021. When legislation passed, clearing the way for athletes to cash in on their value, I started exploring our options. I thought about approaching Corral, but it was obvious from the beginning he was outside of our price range.
I was intrigued by Campbell, who was expected to play a big role in the Rebels’ defense. I knew Campbell wasn’t active on social media, and his story hadn’t been all that widely disseminated. I researched him a bit, and I heard nothing but great things.
So I reached out to his family and made a pitch, all the while reaching out to a couple of prospective sponsors. Things, somewhat surprisingly to me, came together fairly quickly. Campbell agreed to do it, and Luke Abney and The Rogue agreed to sponsor it. Each week, I taped a Zoom interview with Campbell, shipped it via Google Drive to my daughter, Caroline, who edited and packaged the interview and loaded it onto YouTube.
Was it worth it for Campbell? I think so. He got some money out of it, which I’m sure was nice. He got some media training out of it, which has some value as well, as I believe he likely has a professional career in his future, whether that’s next year or after another season in Oxford. I think the deal was good for The Rogue, as customers made purchases who might otherwise have shopped elsewhere. And it was good for us. It gave us exclusive content.
And I think it was great for Ole Miss fans. They got to know Campbell in a way they otherwise wouldn’t have. He certainly made a huge fan in me. All season, whether the Rebels had won or lost, regardless of how he had played or if he was nursing an injury, Campbell showed up as scheduled. If he needed a little time, he texted. If he needed to move the taping up, he reached out. In short, he was a consummate professional. He’s a polite, considerate, thoughtful young man. I hope all his football dreams come true, but Chance Campbell will be a success in life on and off the gridiron.
Where do we go from here with NIL? I don’t know. It’s complicated. It’s a huge part of the sport moving forward. The answer, I think, is to form a separate LLC and raise funds in two ways — crowdsourcing and via businesses as we did with The Rogue — and turn it into unique, exclusive content on RebelGrove.com and MPW Digital. The concern, of course, is making sure it’s always obvious that we’re nowhere close to crossing the line between journalism and advocacy. I don’t think that will be an issue, but there are some out there who are getting dangerously close to doing so. Raising money with no transparency and getting involved in the recruiting process is a bridge too far, and once it’s crossed, there’s no going back.
However, ignoring NIL is foolish. We haven’t and won’t ignore it. That said, turning it into something that could become a financial drain isn’t all that smart either.
All in all, though, our first foray into the NIL world couldn’t have gone better. We’ll be looking for ways to expand our roads into that world moving forward.
6. I was leaving SEC Media Days in July when I spotted Texas A&M athletics director Ross Bjork in the lobby of the Wynfrey Hotel.
I stopped and spoke to Bjork, visiting with Richard Cross and new Vanderbilt coach Clark Lea at the same time. It was small talk, reminiscing a bit, making cult jokes, etc. I said my goodbyes and exited the hotel, eager to head to the beach with my wife the next morning.
Before I could make it to my hotel in Birmingham, my phone — and every phone of anyone who covers the SEC — lit up. The news had broken. Oklahoma and Texas were joining the SEC. Another round of realignment was upon us.
The Longhorns and Sooners will join the SEC no later than 2025 — and likely much earlier than that. By now, you know the rest. The AAC got raided by the Big 12. The Pac 12 is hanging on for dear life. The ACC is trying to convince its membership that everything will be OK, and the Big Ten and the SEC loom as the big boys ready to raid any of the aforementioned leagues whenever they’d like to.
There’s serious talk of a 12-team playoff, and there are rumblings of more realignment to come. I’m not sure which rumors I believe, but I do think the changing landscape is just getting started. The NFL format works, and I believe you’ll see the college game slowly begin to emulate it moving forward.
7. To a lesser degree than 2020, 2021 was always about the COVid-19 pandemic. The virus certainly impacted how we at RebelGrove.com did our jobs.
In early summer, the plan was for me to cover Ole Miss football in person, both on the road and in Oxford, and for Chase Parham to host the MPW Digital Postgame Show. Then the Delta variant hit, prompting another wave of shutdowns and Zoom calls.
So we did again in 2021 what we did in 2020 — we pivoted on the fly. I hired Walker Bailey to cover the home games in person, getting him to send a notebook and Kiffin quotes after the games while we started the MPW Digital Postgame Show, presented by Walk-On’s Sports Bistreaux, which opened a location in Ridgeland in September and in Oxford earlier this month.
By now, you know my thoughts. I think it’s all theatre. We go into the Manning Center, where earlier this year there was a mask mandate, and those who lean left wear a mask and those of us who lean right don’t. This week, as the Sugar Bowl media opportunities have gone to Zoom-only, we’ll do Zoom until Saturday after the game, at which point coaches and players will suddenly be safe in the presence of the unwashed media. It’s all so incredibly stupid. It’s just woke theatrics, an opportunity for administrators and coaches to show how woke and sensitive they are.
I can’t help but wonder if we ever get back to normal. Maybe this is the new normal. Since October 2019, I’ve been to one football game in person — Mississippi State at Arkansas. I’ve covered a handful of college basketball games in person, and this week, it’s already been announced that Kermit Davis’ press conference to preview the Florida game will be Zoom-only. Omicron will be taken seriously, dammit.
As we begin to prepare for 2022, it’s impossible to know what to expect. Are we going to be sideswiped by another variant? Are we going to finally return to the old normal? Will subscribers expect another year of the postgame show? Or do they want more in-person coverage? Do they care one way or the other? Five years ago, I never anticipated tackling topics like these. Now, we discuss them routinely, trying to figure out the best direction to take moving forward.
I’ll give us this: We’ve learned to improvise. Knowing that, the uncertainty doesn’t scare me. If anything, it excites me. I’ve learned, in this environment, those who adapt survive. And we’ve proven to be good at adapting.
8. Ole Miss’ women’s basketball team didn’t make the NCAA Tournament in 2021, but the Rebels made a postseason run, advancing all the way to the WNIT championship game.
That momentum carried into recruiting and appears to have carried into the 2021-22 season. As of this writing, the Rebels are 12-1, having won 12 straight games after losing the season opener to Belmont.
Ole Miss was due to begin SEC play on Thursday, but the Rebels’ league opener against Arkansas was postponed due to a combination of positive tests, contact tracing and subsequent quarantining of individuals within the Ole Miss program.
The Rebels, who are sitting pretty with a NET ranking of 37 as of Friday, still must prove they can win in the SEC, but all signs point toward coach Yolett McPhee-McCuin turning Ole Miss into an NCAA Tournament team this spring.
9. As 2021 nears its end, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank a lot of people who helped us do what we do. There’s no way I won’t forget someone.
First, I’d like to thank Harry Alexander for sponsoring this piece of content for the first several years of its existence. Without his sponsorship, it never would’ve continued this long. On Sundays, the idea of putting 10 Thoughts together often seems daunting. I’m tired or distracted or longing to do something else. But I’d always tell myself, “Harry pays for this,” and I’d go do it. By the time I finished, I was happy I had engaged in the endeavor.
This spring, when Harry told me he was slowing down soon and was ready to move on from this piece, he was considerate. He gave me plenty of time to find a new sponsor. Enter GameChanger Patch Co. Chris and Katie Usrey have a phenomenal two-patch system to battle the effects of the over-consumption of alcohol. When Chris first approached me, I knew this would be a great match. And I think he’d agree. Now, when I feel overwhelmed on a Sunday afternoon, I think about Chris and Katie and I head to my office. I turn on an NFL game and dive in. By the end, almost every time, I am glad I did.
My friend, Paris-based chef Burton Webb, sends me his recipe of the week late each week. It’s always in this spot — Thought No. 9 — and his recipes are fantastic. Burton is a phenomenal guy and he takes great pride in his contribution to this content item and this site. If you haven’t tried some of his recipes, you should.
I’d like to thank so many of our sponsors — people that have allowed us to go from a website to a media company. Their support has inspired me — and I think I can speak for Chase here — to keep trying new things. Ben Craddock, Corey Clark, Hudson Chadwick, Clay and Whitney McNutt, Luke Abney, DeadSoxy, Blue Delta Jeans, Walk-On’s, BroThrow, Muddy Water Outdoors, Pinpoint Commercial Real Estate, Lammons Fine Jewelry, Comer Heating and Air and Southern Air Conditioning and Heating, The College Corner, Pinnacle, John Edwards, Grenada Nissan, Service Specialists, LB’s Meat Market, Alpha Specialties, Corinth Dental, the Clearwater Group, Cathead Distillery, and the Oxford Park Commission all supported us during 2021. Their partnerships have allowed us to do a lot of things.
We’re closing in on the end of the second season of The Butcher vs. The Spin Instructor, presented by LB’s Meat Market. We’ve basically doubled the numbers in Season 2, a testament to Greg Jones and my daughter, Campbell. It’s a lighthearted piece that we run each Thursday during football season, and each week, I’d get feedback, typically from female viewers, who loved it.
In the middle of the football season, we had a shakeup in our staff, and it sort of fell on me to figure out how to carry the Soft Verbal Podcast. Scott Werne at The College Corner was one of my first calls. I told him it was going to take me a minute to regroup and figure out where to go with that podcast, and it has. Frankly, I’m still working on it, but Scott has been awesome about it. So, when you decide to look for some Rebel gear for a birthday gift or just because you’re in the mood to wear your red and blue, please remember The College Corner.
As for recruiting content moving forward, nothing wakes me up in the middle of the night more than that. I’m not particularly good at it. The information is difficult to accumulate. The changing landscape of college football makes it even more difficult to write accurately about kids still 12-24 months (or more) away from signing a binding NLI. However, I acknowledge there is a desire/hunger for that information, and I’ve got to figure out a way to at least try to satiate that appetite. The breathless drama does nothing for me, but I have to remember there’s a segment of our subscriber base — maybe a really big segment — that does want that dramatic build-up. So we’ll continue to try to fill that void and find an employee to take on that role, all the while acknowledging the obstacles and current circumstances in place.
When we decided to do the postgame show as we did in 2020, I added to it, packaging a weekly pregame show — also sponsored by Walk-On’s Sports Bistreaux — that we published each Thursday afternoon. It was a massive undertaking, one that I didn’t know would take as much time as it would.
Each week, Pete DeWeese and I would tape a Zoom call. Pete had video and Xs and Os prepared, and he’s brilliant. I learned so much football. It’s totally changed how I watch games on television now and it made the Mississippi State-Arkansas game so much more fun to attend in person. I saw plays develop, what coaches were trying to set up, coverage schemes, route concepts and more. Pete is so skilled. He teaches football in such a way that a casual fan can learn it, while also giving junkies a heavy dose of football drug. Again, he’s a genius. I’m not a big New Year’s resolution person, but one of mine is finding a way to incorporate him into more of what we do. So if you’re a business owner looking to sponsor something that’s absolutely going to get major traffic, hit me up.
Each Wednesday morning, Jeffrey Wright would finish producing the Geoff Calkins Show in Memphis and jump on a Zoom with me. Jeffrey is a dear friend. He’s so immensely talented, and I’m honored he’s remained a part of what we do at MPW Digital and RebelGrove.com. I know he cut his teeth here, but he doesn’t owe me anything. His perspectives each week are valued.
Ryan Brown of The Next Round talked to me a lot during the decision-making process when he and his radio partners were thinking about striking out on their own. He had a lot of questions about what we do at MPW Digital, and I told him repeatedly he would love being his own boss. They’ve done remarkable work in Birmingham, and his willingness to jump on a Zoom every Thursday at 1 p.m. for our pregame show is so appreciated.
Finally, Ben Mintz of Barstool Sports gave us time every single week, whether he was in New York, Las Vegas, New Orleans or, most recently, West Monroe, La. We’d talk gambling and odds and such, but Ben’s incredible story, fueled by his amazing energy and passion, often became the focus of our weekly conversations.
I have tried and continue to try to force-feed the shoe as a video offering — after all, Pete’s segment is very visual — but we started loading the audio in podcast form as well. Figuring out how to fully monetize video remains an objective. I watch a lot more livestreams today than I ever thought I would. I have watched three trials this year on Rekieta Law, and doing livestreams is an art form. It’s something I plan to spend more time on in 2022.
We added Brian Rippee to our “staff” and to our library of podcasts this year. That has been a hit, to say the least. Brian is immensely talented, and both Chase and I recognize that talent. Getting him into a bigger role with us down the road is a priority. He knows that.
We also added Tyler Siskey & The Associates to our library of podcasts and video offerings in 2021. I thought it would get traction and it did. We also had another year of Greatest Pod In The South and Mind On My Money. There’s another podcast addition in the works as well, though it’s still more in the concept phase.
I promise I am always thinking of ways to improve the product(s) we present.
9b. It’s time to eat. Here’s our resident Parisian chef, Burton Webb, with his final offering of 2021. Here’s Taste of the Place, Lesson 118 — Pan-Roasted Duck, Polenta Cakes, and Red Sauce (New Year’s Eve 2021).
Well, the day is here before we turn the page. For a small bit of history, you never eat Lobster or Chicken on this day because it could “crawl backward.” This means that you could be stuck in ’21.
Tidbit #1: For the sauce, you will need to reduce the beef stock, maple syrup, and red wine in a saucepot until almost evaporated. The bubbles will almost be the size of “dimes”. This is how you know you are there. Pay attention.
Tidbit #2: You will use the recipe from Lesson 112 for the polenta cakes. So that is easy.
Tidbit #3: When you cook the duck, cook it over medium heat with the fat side down. Once the side has crisped up, turn over the duck and place a lid on the pan. You will need to cook for about 4-5 minutes. Take out and then let rest.
Tidbit #4: “Golden Rule” - when serving meat for friends or family, always slice beforehand. This way, it is easier for them to pick their preferred cook of meat. Also, less stress on you.
Things you will need:
4 People
Preparation time - 10 Minutes
Cook time - 1 Hour
Glass Pinot Noir
Utensils needed:
Worksurface and chef’s knife
Measuring cups
Spatula
Sauce Pot
Sauté pan with lid
Stovetop
Ingredients needed:
2 Duck Breast
8 cups beef stock
4 cups Pinot Noir
.5 cup Maple Syrup
2 Sprigs Rosemary
1 Orange Peel
2 Pinches 5-spice
Mise en Place
Step 1: Add the wine, beef stock, and maple syrup to the stockpot. Reduce on medium-high heat until 1/4 of the liquid is left.
Step 2: With the liquid reduced, turn down the heat to medium-low and add in the rosemary and orange peel. Continue to reduce until dime-sized bubbles.
Step 3: Place the sauté pan over medium heat. Score the top side of the ducks in a Cris-cross pattern and then sprinkle over the 5 spices, salt, and pepper. Sear the fat sides down and then turn over. Continue to cook for 4 minutes. Take out and let rest for another 5 minutes before slicing. At this point add in the polenta cakes and sear on both sides using the duck fat.
Final Dish of ’21
Step 4: Arrange on your serving plate the pan-fried polenta cakes. Then slice your duck breast in half or slices. Arrange this to the side of your cakes and then sauce just 1 end of the duck. Enjoy.
Have fun tonight and enjoy NOLA if you're there! I hear that “Ole Miss France” is there so show him some Southern Hospitality. From the Mississippian in Paris, Bon Appétit!
10. This content piece is my thoughts, after all, and I usually reserve this spot for writing about my life and the people in it. It’s become my year-end diary entry, at least to some extent. So if you don’t want to read about me, allow me to wish you a Happy New Year in this spot and invite you to stop reading here.
OK, if you’re still reading, you can’t say you weren’t warned. For me, 2021 provided a bit of a harsh reality. Time, I realized in ways I don’t think I had fully comprehended before, is speedily marching on.
This past year was the year we took Caroline to college. That’s what really sticks out in my mind. Her spring semester of her senior year of high school was pretty light academically, so she was home a lot. I’d finish the podcast each morning and usually she was downstairs, getting ready to head off to school. She’d come home around noon, and I’d usually visit with her a bit during the lunch hour. Then of course she was around at nighttime. For me, though, I came to really enjoy those morning interactions, even when they were just in passing. I’ve always said Caroline was the family social director, the glue that held us together. It’s difficult to explain, but she is.
Much of that semester was spent preparing for tryouts for the Arkansas Pom Squad. We traveled to Fayetteville in late January so she could meet with the coach and some of the girls on the squad. I hired her a personal trainer at her request. She got in the best shape of her life. She refined her routines. For a while there, I had heard the Arkansas fight song so many times that I would almost catch myself humming it involuntarily. It was on repeat in her room as she tried to absolutely perfect every single movement. She did her very best.
There’s a life lesson there, of course, the one that is often the most painful to learn for any of us. Sometimes your best isn’t enough. Sometimes, things aren’t meant to be. Not everyone wins every time. She was cut, and there was tangible disappointment. She left the house that afternoon and went to her Oxford High School dance coach’s house. She cried there. The Chargerettes were such a big part of our lives for four years, and they were a massive part of Caroline’s growth as a person and a leader. That night, Robyn Lyons paid her back. OHS isn’t perfect, but it’s a damn fine school, full of people who care about kids. Robyn talked with her for hours that night, and while the pain and disappointment lingered for a long time, she helped put that moment in perspective in a way no one else could’ve, including Laura and me.
Later in the spring, Caroline was honored with a spot in the OHS Hall of Fame and, as the outgoing student body president, spoke at graduation. Summer flew by, and before I knew it, it was time to take her to college.
Caroline has had a stuffed leopard, Larry, since she was an infant. I bought him in one of those bookstores in the Knoxville library early on a Sunday morning after covering a Tennessee game as I flew to meet where the New Orleans Saints were playing that day. The girls have a zillion stuffed animals from those days, when I was constantly on the road, pretty much thinking of them at every moment.
Anyway, she and Larry basically hit it off from the jump. She’s carried Larry everywhere. Still does. Somehow, Larry ended up in my car on the way to Fayetteville. I pretty much talked to him the whole time, begging him to take care of my little girl. On move-in day, I paid $15 bucks for this little bear at the Arkansas campus bookstore, took the Go Hogs shirt off of it and gave it to Larry. A day later, we took Caroline to breakfast and then took her back to the dorm. I had told myself I wouldn’t cry. I lied. I cried a lot. I cried off and on all the way to Little Rock. Knowing Larry the Leopard was there with Caroline, decked out in his new shirt, comforted me, as goofy as that sounds.
On move-in day, we passed a couple of girls who had made the Pom Squad. Caroline's body language changed. I could feel her pain. But you know what really made me proud? She could've sulked. She could've said she deserved a better fate, that politics or where she's from or her demographics worked against her, but she didn't. She simply refused to go there. She pressed on, worked through the bitter disappointment and turned her attention to new things and new opportunities.
I didn’t need to worry. She thrived. She always has. She could’ve gone to Minnesota or Iowa or Vermont and thrived. She made the prestigious Freshman Leadership Forum, pledged Chi Omega, met tons of new friends and had a great first semester. The house felt pretty empty at times, but she’d call via FaceTime and we’d visit for a long time. Routines changed, of course, but that’s life. There are cycles, and one must adapt.
Campbell, meanwhile, started her junior year of college in the fall. Campbell calls home, but it’s different than when Caroline calls. With Campbell, it’s more of a quick check-in. She’s teaching spin at her studio in Fayetteville and she’s super involved in her sorority. Earlier this month, she was elected as the recruitment chairperson for the 2022 sorority rush at the UA. I think she was both shocked and thrilled. That process has already begun, and she’s heading back to Fayetteville in the next few days. It’s been great to have her here for a couple of weeks, but Fayetteville is home for her now. That’s where her life is. That’s where she’s happiest. Sometimes, I think, that reality saddens me. But I get it. You raise your children hoping they learn how to be successful, independent members of society. We’ve done that, and she’s spread her wings and learned how to fly on her own.
It’s been cool to see them together in college. I don't think either of us expected Caroline to choose Arkansas. We were surprised when it happened. They’ve always been close — girls separated by just 21 months or so -- but their friendship appears to have really blossomed. Going to college together has given them an even greater appreciation for one another.
Carson, meanwhile, has been left to deal with us at home. He started high school in August but not before an eventful spring and summer. Carson has played competitive soccer for years, but by late April, as his club season was coming to an end, he was losing his passion for the sport. He loves basketball, and on a whim, he tried out for an AAU team and made it. The practices were grueling and he was way behind, but he began to improve, and he absolutely loves the game. He's not a morning person, but each morning, as he watched highlights and scoured box scores over his breakfast, he'll tell me how Shai Gilgeous-Alexander or Damian Lillard or Joel Embiid or Luka Doncic did or discuss whether the Jazz or Nuggets can make a move in the West or who he is hoping the Thunder can somehow land in the draft. He rarely makes a college game, but he's hoping to go see Auburn-Ole Miss in a couple of weeks just to check out Jabari Smith Jr. Hoops is a passion for him.
So he tried out for the OHS team, knowing the odds were likely stacked against him a bit. He decided if he made basketball, he’d give up soccer. That was a difficult decision, one that he agonized over a bit. Near the end of the tryout process, I did something I never do — I watched one of his soccer practices. I saw his footwork, his developing shooting prowess, etc. He was much better at the sport than I realized. I had just watched him play a club season against boys 24 months older than he was. At times, he had been overmatched. As I watched that practice, my heart sunk a bit and I felt this pit in my stomach.
A night later, he waited for the verdict from basketball. That evening, the OHS coach, Drew Tyler, called Carson to tell him he’d been one of the last cuts, maybe the very last cut. Coach Tyler didn’t have to do that, but he did. It spoke volumes for him, his program and the school. He spent nearly 30 minutes talking to Carson on the phone. That doesn’t happen everywhere. I say this about Oxford all the time, but it’s true: This is a phenomenal place to raise your children.
For Carson, there was disappointment, but there was also some relief. Having that door closed, he turned his attention back to soccer. His club season was almost over, and he had already decided to move to another club. He turned his attention to OHS tryouts. On the final day, I picked him up from OHS and we drove to Tupelo. That evening, he practiced with the Tupelo FC team and absolutely loved it. Exhausted, he hopped into the back of the truck and enthusiastically told me about it.
He worried about the demands on my time. Would I be able to balance my work load in the fall and get him to soccer in Tupelo? Would it be easier to just play on the new Oxford FC team? I assured him that if he wanted to play in Tupelo, we’d make it work. Later that night, he learned he had made the OHS team. The family group text lit up like a Christmas tree. It’s funny, I suppose, how things work out. On the day of Caroline's high school graduation, Tupelo FC extended an invitation to join their club. He readily accepted.
OHS soccer has been awesome. He loves the coaching staff, led by Hunter Crane, and the camaraderie with his teammates. He’s started getting some varsity minutes. He has a lot of work to do, but he's already charting how he plans to improve this offseason and into the summer. Tupelo FC has been fantastic as well. He absolutely loves his coach, Matt Wilburn, and he’s looking forward to the resumption of club practice Feb. 1. The passion for soccer has returned.
A note to coaches who work with teenagers: You can work players hard. In fact, you should. You can be demanding. You can get angry. But if you don't care, they'll see right through you. If you have no idea what's happening in their lives, they'll figure that out. And if you can do both -- demand the best from them and show them that you truly care about them as humans at the same time -- they'll run through walls for you.
For me, the drives to Tupelo and back became some of my favorite times. We’d visit, talking about the Cubs or the Thunder or whatever. I’d walk or jog on the track out at Ballard Park while he practiced and then get him home in time for a late dinner.
It’s hit me, repeatedly, these days won’t last forever. I cherish them. I know this: I won’t miss an OHS game. I will make as many Tupelo FC games as possible. Nothing sports-related makes me as happy as watching him play soccer. I’m so thankful to have a job that is flexible enough for me to make that happen. These are years, when they’re over, that I’m going to deeply miss.
This spring, I’ll celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary. My wife, Laura, deserves a medal. I can’t imagine dealing with me for a quarter-century. I'm my own worst enemy, often just punishing myself almost out of the blue, and the people close to me pay a price along the way. She somehow endures it.
March 15 willl also be the 19th anniversary of the day we brought Caroline home for the first time. I’ll never get her a better anniversary gift.
But like I said, time goes fast. The faster it goes, the harder it hits you, and the harder it hits you, the faster it goes.
So Happy New Year. Try to savor the good days. I don't do resolutions, so to speak, for I think they just set you up for an unnecessary failure, but allowing myself the peace of enjoying happy times is one of my goals for the coming year.
I wish the same for all of you. Here's wishing all of you all the happiest, healthiest 2022.
